Thinking about the end

I went to a funeral yesterday.  That and turning 50 this year got me thinking about what I would want my funeral to be…so here it is.

I don’t really care if it’s held in the funeral home chapel or a church.  The church would need to be…hmmm progressive if it’s a coc church as I would want some non-churchy music.  As for clothes, something I would wear everyday.  I would want to look like me.  I still remember at my Nanny’s viewing everyone commenting on her nail polish as it was something she would never wear!

Service:

He Reigns (The Newsboys) – I love this song.  It makes me happy so start with this one.

My Hope is Built on Nothing Less – This song has great memories.  The first time Steve led singing, it was this song and his voice broke on Hope…very sweet and I think of him everytime I sing it!

It’s My Life (Bon Jovi) – Come on, you knew there would be a Bon Jovi song! This is where someone can read what I wrote about what everyone left means/meant to me and why this song.  Not quite ready to share that yet.

Must have Done Something Good (Reliant K)

At my Granny’s funeral, a lot of people told stories about her, shared memories, that kind of thing and that’s what I want.  Not necessarily everyone says what an awesome person I was, but just sharing memories.  I think that would be nice.  I do not want my funeral to be sermon, that’s not me or my life, although I can get up on my soapbox!

Other songs I like:

I Come to the Garden Alone

Ten Thousand Angels

Days Of Elijah

so far that’s it.



A New Year

Here we are in 2010.  Seems like this is also the time for resolutions.  I am not a resolution person, moor of a plan person.  I just don’t feel resolutions are specific enough to motivate people to stick with them, so I set goals and make a plan instead!

My goals for the coming year:  blog once a week.  I plan and have scheduled 30 minutes each Sunday to write something here.

Make progress on completing my Master’s degree.  I have already registered for two classes this spring and plan to take one over the summer, two next fall, then the last two in 2011.

Be nicer.  I will commit to making the effort to think before I speak and try to be as nice as possible but still tell the truth…call it my attempt to speak the truth in love and kindness!

I’ll probably add to these throughout the next month.  You may have notice, I don;t have any work goals and I am still pondering a couple of different directions and the details of the plan to move me in the direction I think I want to go, so check back next week.

Personal Journal – School Assignment

10.02.2009

Well, we took  the emotional intelligence instrument and have a personal journal assignment to complete.  Work on the area of your lowest score…so here goes!  I scored lowest in the area of Interpersonal Skills.  We will go into the whys and wherefores later and will just jump right into the assignment.  At the end of the each chapter in our text are self-assessments and assignment.  Today’s post will focus on the self-assessment for Social Responsiblity.

1. What community organizations are you involved in?  Right now, none.  I did send an email to the newcomer’s club in my town and will go to a meeting as soon as I hear back.

2. What active role do you play? None…yet.

3. What political party do you support?  Right now, none.  At heart I am independent/libertarian.

4. What role do you play in it?  none and will probably stay that way.

5. Do you participate in charitable activities?  If so list them and describe your role.  Right now, my charitable involvement is buying stuff from my friends at work kid’s…pay back for all those things I sold when my kid’s were in activities.

6. Do you feel that you donate enough money to charitable causes?  Yes, I not only donate, but do the buying and when I buy somethings, like coffee, I try to buy the ones that a portion of the proceeds go to benefit something…like Heifer.

7. Do you feel you contribute enough time to these same causes?  No

8. How can you involve your friends, family and co-workers in an effort to be more involved in charitable events?  Invite them to the various activities and go the events my co-workers work with.

9. What have you done recently to help people who could use a hand?  Donated clothing to a women’s shelter. 

10. What have you done recently to help strangers in need?  Bought breakfast for a group of hungry people.

11. Give three examples of situations in which you were sensitive to the needs of friends, acquaintances or co-workers.  In each case, what did you do?  this will just be in the notebook as I really don’t want to sound like I am tooting my own horn.

More to come…next assignemnt is dealing with my apparent lack of empathy.

Long Time

I haven’t written in quite some time, not because I don’t have anything to say, but because I have been very busy.  Started back to school around the time of the last post.

It is also my reflective time of the year.  Maybe it’s spring but I think it’s just this time, significant days and such gets me to thinking about the past and then the future.  Need to kind of collect the thoughts a little more before I give them voice…so for now, just thinking about a lot of different things.

 

Just came across this article….http://www.slate.com/id/2215693

and can answer, at least for me, the why.  You think that he will change, that at some point you will be enough and he will see that you have stuck it out because you love him and he will change and love you back.  Suddenly, nineteen years have gone by, you have two kids, no degree and this life is what you know.  You can manage this life most of the time and this life is KNOWN .  One of those days, I had the revelation it wasn’t me that wasn’t enough and he would never love me and I was enough for me.  and that knowledge allowed me to step into the unknown.

A New Day

I am sure much will be written regarding the historic moment today.  I had a co-worker just ask me what was the deal with watching the inauguration?  Was it because he was the first black president…with the black whispered.  I have watched each Presidential Inauguration since I can remember because this day speaks to how our system of government works.  We are changing a government at a very fundamental level, not through war or inheritance, but by the ballot.  It is a peaceful transition and every time this happens it tells the rest of the world..look democracy does work!

As for the President being black…I am very proud to be an American today and to witness a dream coming true.  Every single child in our nation is told he/she can grow up to be President, but until today, only white men have realized that dream.  Today, that dream became realistic for thousands more young men.  Now, what about our girls, we are still dreaming that we can also be President…..it is for us, just that, a dream.  I hope I live long enough to see THAT dream become a reality too.

Starting School

I start working on my Master’s at Boise State tomorrow.  After much reading on the subject of needing a degree, let alone an advanced degree to advance as an Instructional Developer, I made the choice to go for the higher degree.  The program at Boise State appears to be excellent, fully accredited and most of all, useful to how I want to grow.

More Navel Gazing

What are the top three lessons I learned?  An often repeated lesson, but one that I am pretty sure I have finally “gotten”…work is not everything, it is a way to support myself and I do need to enjoy it, but it needs not to be the focus of my existence.  Since I have moved, I have done a much better job of setting boundaries and limits for my work.  I am still trying to figure out how to fit in fun or even how to have fun, but that is on tap for this year! 

 

Lesson 2:  Mike is responsible for his life being in the state it is in and no one can change that but him.  I don’t have to feel guilty any more. 

Lesson 3: I am an okay person.

What increased my happiness and joy this year? That Terry and I live in the same town at the same time and in the same house has added the most happiness and joy to my life.  Casey’s arrival is a very close second. 

 

What did I avoid that I must pay more attention to in 2009? I honestly did a pretty good job of paying attention to the important things, my relationships with other people.  What I need to work on in 2009 is reconnecting with a church.  I miss my Metro family and think Southwest will be a good fit for us, but we need to actually GO to find out.  We haven’t been very good about that.

 

What character trait did I develop most this year? Interesting that this question is here as my latest self-help book is Character Makeover.  While patience is the trait I need to work on the most, I think I made the most progress on improving that trait…still needs more work!

More New Year….

• Who did I really help? I thought about this a bunch last night…I “helped” two people, Alec make his wish come true and Susan’s family. I did somethings and said some things to people that mean something to me but in my worldview, we are each responsible for our own behavior. As much as I would like to “fix” things of key others in my life, I can’t.  That discovery was one of the biggest I have had in a long time. Noone is responsible or can “help” me be a better me but me…by the same token, I can’t make anyone else do anything they really don’t want to do. Having said that, I will lend moral support, cheer-leading, butt-kicks and advice to any that ask that of me.
• Who do I need to thank and acknowledge for having been there for me? Terry, Mom and Dad and the kids…all four of them! Rough year and couldn’t have made it without their cheer-leading and butt-kicking!
• What’s something I got through that was really tough? In the last three years, Terry and I have hit every single major life event…some of them more than once. A short list: Terry and I got married, both of my kids got married….in different states…two weeks apart! That was within an 8 month period! Terry’s mother died, I worked in MN for a year, I got a new job, we moved, Terry moved his business, we became grandparents…I am wondering how my son lost his hair and I didn’t…just looking at this list! So the answer…I got through life and it’s really tough. My life the past year was rough, but I live in a peaceful country, have a home and plenty of food, so not the worse year a person could have and I choose to focus on that!
• What new people did I meet that are now in my life? Considering that I just moved, there are a bunch of new people…first and foremost is my little Casey! What a blessing and little angel! Other folks that are making a difference: Hannah, my new friend at work. She makes me smile everyday. Penny, a new friend through Chris and Jessie. What a beautiful lady and such an exciting life ahead of her! Lisa, also met through Chris and Jessie. I want to get to know her better. Jasmine, a work friend that also makes me smile and laugh. I have to add Terry here because we were apart so long, it was almost like starting over again when we moved to our new home.

A New Year

I love the start of the new year!  For me, it’s a time to reflect on the past and look forward to what’s coming.  I am borrowing these question from First30.  Over the next few posts, I plan to answer the questions…you can too!

• What was the best thing that happened to me this year? This is the easiest to answer…..I live in the same town as my husband, followed very closely by becoming a grandmother.
• What did I do this year that I’m really proud of? Left my old job, moved to a new town…I think this is about the 4th time I have started over!

 

• Who did I really help?
• Who do I need to thank and acknowledge for having been there for me?
• What are the top three lessons I learned?
• What increased my happiness and joy this year?
• What’s something I got through that was really tough?
• What did I avoid that I must pay more attention to in 2009?
• What character trait did I develop most this year?
• What new people did I meet that are now in my life?

“…he will be our friend for always and always and always.” ~ Rudyard Kipling

Smokey